How To Regain Your Confidence After A Break Up
When you go through a break up, no matter whether it happened to a long-term relationship or one that was relatively short lived, it can affect you negatively both physically and mentally. It can be difficult to start again, especially if there is a lot of history, perhaps even children or shared memories involved. However, it is always possible to build up your self-esteem even after the most intense of relationships end, and here are some ways that it can happen.
Spoil Yourself
When you break up with someone it’s important to spoil yourself afterwards. You are on your own and far from that being a negative thing, that needs to be something positive. What is it that you have always wanted to do but were prevented doing because of your relationship? You can do it now, though, without having to take your partner in account. There is something truly freeing about this, and although it might be difficult to begin with, it will do you a lot of good by the end of the experience.
If you are really having a difficult time then you may consider going to see a therapist who will be able to help you regain your own self, which can something be hidden, particularly in the relationship had gone on for many years.
Don’t Date Right Away
Of course, you’re going to date again; one failed relationship shouldn’t mean that you give up on them entirely. However, it’s crucial that you don’t jump into dating straight away. You may feel that this will boost your self-esteem, or give you more confidence, but it can actually have the opposite effect, and if you’re not over the person you have just broken up with it’s not fair on the new person you are dating. You will constantly be thinking about someone else and not focusing on the new person in your life.
As well as this, if you date too soon you may actually only be going out with someone to stop feeling lonely, or to prove to yourself that you can be in a good relationship. That means you might pick someone for the wrong reasons, and they may be no good for you.
You should really wait a few months so that you can heal and not be so raw. This will give you time to work out what went wrong in your last relationship. If it was something you did, you can be aware not to do it again. If it was something your partner did, you can be on the look-out for the warning signs. Taking some time for yourself will help you get back on track, as it’s also unhealthy to depend on another person so completely. Finding yourself again can help you gain your confidence back so you can take on any challenges life might throw your way.
Write It Down
Writing down your feelings can be a wonderful way to let everything out and regain your confidence when you understand how you are feeling and know how to get over it. You can do this in the form of a letter although sending that letter would most likely be a mistake and probably wouldn’t make you feel better in the end. Keep it just to yourself; this letter is for you to look back on and understand what you really gained, and of course you will have gained something whether that is in a negative or a positive way. Remember to include how grateful you are that you were able to learn so much through your relationship.
This is a great way of letting go of your ex and is a healthy way to deal with the issues that are troubling you. Once you have released him or her, there will be room for others to come into your live (and more specifically your love life) and this will boost your confidence to let that happen.
Love Yourself
You will have heard of the saying that it’s impossible to love others if you can’t or won’t love yourself first. That’s true. After a break-up you may not feel as though you love yourself at all, and that can cause you to have problems when it comes to feeling confident again. So you will need to learn how to love yourself all over again.
Start with listing out your positive attributes – never start with a negative. What is it that you really do like about yourself? What makes you special? It doesn’t have to be looks, but can be your personality or how you care for others as well. It can be anything. You don’t have to be humble at this point, but instead really go for it and be honest about how much you could really love yourself. Far from being taboo, it’s a good thing to do.
If there are things about yourself that you don’t like that that affect your confidence, now is the time to change them. They could be cosmetic; maybe you don’t like your teeth, in which case Smileworks General & Cosmetic Dentistry could help you out? Perhaps you want to lose weight, so you might search out a weight loss program to follow, or perhaps they are more about your emotional health. In this case, then a therapist could assist you in feeling better, for example.
Go Out And Date Again
Although dating too soon isn’t really advised, there will come a time when you feel ready to go out and date again, and when that time comes don’t let your worries about what happened in the past stop you. You could be missing out on the perfect relationship because you are still thinking of a past imperfect one.
If you leave it too long before you head out on a date again, all the confidence you have gained since breaking up with your ex may start to fade, and then it will take even longer to be settled. There is a fine line between too soon and too late, but if you listen to your body and mind and understand exactly how you are feeling it will make things much easier for you.
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